there was a trapeze. enough said
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Operation Purity has been aborted
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
