obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize