I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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