I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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