If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize