Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My vagina is officially offended.
They have beer where we have blood.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
