Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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