tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
