I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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