Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
