I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize