? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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