Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize