So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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