You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
