PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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