i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
