I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
