did you get engaged???
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
