Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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