I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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