anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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