U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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