He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
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We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
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as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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