I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize