I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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