Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just pee around me
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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