The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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