I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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