Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
