There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
