So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
