just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
