how can u be prego again
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
