Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize