Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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