I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize