Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
