I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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