Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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