I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
