I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
That's how pantless uber rides happen
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
