I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
