her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
