I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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