Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
