I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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