So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
