I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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