I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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