are you still at the devil's house?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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