He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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