You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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