If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
