i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
