dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
