Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
