did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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