Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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