Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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