He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
