Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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